When I was a child, I played hockey. And, dear reader, I sucked. I couldn't hit the ball while running, which is kind of the point of it all. The one thing I was good at was pushing my hockey stick against an opponent's. This annoyed them immensely and often made them lose the ball—preferably out over the sideline—so my teammates could bring the ball back in our favor. Sometimes I'd push my hip in there too. That’s not allowed. I was really good at the ‘What happened? What? Me?’ face when the referee whistled. But besides this move, I just tried to stay out of the way. Hockey wasn’t my thing.
The one thing I did like was the moment before the game, when we all came together in a huddle, someone said some uplifting things, and then we did a yell. It made us a team. It made me feel like we were going to do great things. I could feel the energy pumping. Then the game began, and I remembered I sucked – and that I’d never been interested in winning a game in my entire life. I’m still not.
Thank God my hockey days are behind me. Team sports are not for me. Yoga suits me much better. And, even though it is a more solitary practice, there is a sense of connection. I think it starts the moment we get on the mat. The mat works as a uniform. It’s an equalizer. However, the moment we chant Aum, is when I feel this connection the most. It’s an audible connection, which makes it tangible. We are making noise, and our noises and voices blend together. The energy blends together. On my best days, it feels like we’re holding each other with our sound.
I’m very fond of this moment in class – not only because of the connectedness, but because of the evolution in sound, and so in us as well. When we chant to open the class, the sound is usually thin and wavering. When we chant to close the class, it has grown into this rich, deep, full-bodied sound. And the silence after that last Aum? That is just thick with awareness, because we are all so present, right? For me, every once in a while, it brings me to the most meditative state I can be in.
Aum is the sound that connects us to the universe, since it is said to be the sound the universe makes – the vibration from which everything else arises, according to the ancient texts. When I heard a black hole 'sing' on NASA footage three years ago, it blew me away. The sound of that vibration feels uncannily like Aum to me. How did the Rishis know? Magic, huh?
There is a lot more to learn about Aum. The A, the U, the M. The cosmic cycle. Your teacher will teach you. All we have to do is make the sound and blend together. I presume most yogis are grateful yoga is not a team sport. But we are one, after all.
Esther is a writer, creator, and yogi from Amsterdam. She is a student and Karma Yogi at Studio 108 and does her best to be kind, gentle, and to laugh whenever she stumbles.
