Autism is a very wide spectrum, and there are not many ways in which you can characterize us all. We’re just as diverse as neurotypical – nonautistic – people. However, there is something that unites most of us: we don’t like to lie. Usually we’re not very good at it, either.
I think we humans mostly lie because of social constructs and things you are supposed to say or not say. If those social constructs are not naturally in your vocabulary, those lies are not so easy to tell. We – I’m generalizing the autism community here – can seem rude or blunt, while in fact, we’re just telling the truth. We also don’t like to misinform you. If we have told you something and later realize it wasn’t completely accurate, we will let you know.
Information must be clear, true and complete, please and thank you. Some might say this honesty isn’t polite or is “too much”, but in my opinion it’s not polite if you keep me guessing about certain things, you crazy neurotypicals. If you want me to know, you will have to tell me very clearly. You can save all the nonverbal, “polite” stuff for your neurotypical friends.
Before I knew I had autism, I thought I was very odd and “humaning wrong”. I tried to fit in with all the “normal” people. To do so, I adjusted myself a lot, and in doing that, I lied. I lied about whether I was tired, whether I liked to come to a birthday party, whether I understood what people were talking about, whether the light or noise was bothering me, even about what I liked to eat. But if you had asked me right then and there, “Are you lying?” I would have said no. I adjusted myself so well I didn’t know my own truth anymore. So, was I really lying?
People tell little white lies all the time. And even in yoga philosophy it is said that, simply put, some lies are worth telling. To save lives, for instance. However, even in smaller ways I can imagine a lie feels like the right thing to do: as a parent, you constantly tell your child little white lies. They don’t need to know everything. You don’t want them to get hurt. And yoga philosophy is clear about that; we don’t want to cause any pain.
It seems simple, right? To tell the truth. But in reality, in day-to-day life, I think it might be one of the most complex parts of yoga. Of life. Knowing your truth and how to speak that truth without doing any harm.
Esther is a writer, creator, and yogi from Amsterdam. She is a student and Karma Yogi at Studio 108 and does her best to be kind, gentle, and to laugh whenever she stumbles.
