A Letter to the Gurus
Dear gurus,
It’s Esther, from the Netherlands.
First things first: what did you want to be when you grew up? Have you always wanted to be a guru? Were you playing ‘guru’ while the rest of us were playing dress-up?
Anyway, I’m glad I found you all. I was hesitant about the whole idea of gurus before I started practicing yoga. It seemed mystical, vague and a bit authoritarian. You did make for great Pinterest quotes though. After getting to know some of you, I realize I was misinformed. The word ‘guru’ has had some image problems in mainstream Western media. On top of that, we’ve gotten less religious over the years, so, in my experience, devotion makes us a bit uncomfortable.
Now that I know better, I feel like we need you here in the West. We seem to have lost the ability to believe in something bigger than ourselves. Faith. Yoga teaches this too, but you give it a face. And we like faces. I suppose that’s why they made God a man, with a face. And a beard. It’s easier to trust. It’s difficult having faith in a feeling. A concept.
In all honesty, I am not a guru monogamist. There are so many of you and you are all very interesting and wise. I don’t know if that’s proper guru-ing though. I am still new at this.
What I see now is that you are not so much vague as you are a little magical. And that’s exactly what I need. A little magic in life, along with guidance and clarity. And isn’t that what you offer? Intuitive wisdom?
The thing is, I felt lost for a long time. I’m starting to find my way. But life is uncertain and following my intuition is very new. I used to be a full-on believer in rational thinking. You are the embodiment of intuition, so I turn to you often to balance my analytical side.
I still question everything. That’s why I write so much. However, after writing down all my thoughts, and unanswered questions, I usually turn to one of you. Sometimes through the memory of something I learned from my teachers – who were also fed by you – and sometimes through a book or a podcast. I know some of you have left your body for a long time, but your teachings are still here for us. Isn’t that a miracle?
So I sit down, lay in bed or walk in the park, and either you or your followers join me. Sometimes for a moment, sometimes for a long time. You make me feel safe and warm. Even though I don’t always understand you, I have stopped needing to understand everything right away. You show me others have come before me, who had the same questions, the same experiences and who turned them into wisdom. Or who simply carry a very deep knowing of truth.
Every day after practice I bow to the guru within. I connect to my intuition. Now, I’m not asking for all the answers – just one: is the guru within the same as the guru ‘outside’? Are you really just reminding us of what we already know inside? Am I going in the right direction with this? Just say hot or cold.
Will you write me back?
With love and respect, I bow,
Esther
Guru (gu=darkness, ru= light)
a preceptor who removes ignorance and gives knowledge
- definition by B.K.S. Iyengar
Esther is a writer, creator, and yogi from Amsterdam. She is a student and Karma Yogi at Studio 108 and does her best to be kind, gentle, and to laugh whenever she stumbles.
